Thursday, March 27, 2008

When it rains it pours

I have been going through a streak of major setbacks for the past 2 months now. Added to the year long betrayal problem is the annual tuition fee, mortgage payments, and bills that don't stop coming in the mail.

A friend said through a YM message that everyone goes through this and we are given problems that we can solve. Well that's a fact and his advice was very encouraging.

This morning I received one of those "faith" emails with a dumb story about a professor and his famous piece of chalk. I could'nt stop myself from replying so I had to give him a piece of my mind regarding his lesson on faith.

This afternoon I had a wonderful lunch alone at this cheap Korean fastfood outlet. Having the need to carboload for tonight's run, I had chicken barbeque, rice and ramyun. I guess that was the only highlight of the day aside from hearing about other bad news on how I was supposed to get paid by my brother's swindler friend and partner, and how the appraisal of my house went as people there stood by to the computation of the bank's appraiser with no objections at all!!!!

I am still happy, in good health and as strong as ever. I write to say that I will just put this all behind and run tonight to the tune of Tom Petty and the Hearbreakers, Steely Dan, and Manfred Man's Earth Band.

The reward is a runner's high, and hopefully good sleep tonight with the thought of being at the trails again in a day. It just makes me smile. It just keeps me going.

It is the best thing to do because stress can make you sick, burn you out, or even kill you.

These things will be over soon. I say this to myself again as I look forward to seeing the beach soon with my family...even just for two days...please.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Broken Promises

I am on my nth week of being worried about the outcome of a year old problem. Last week, words were exchanged between my brother's wife and I.
In trying to solve the problem, my brother made up a story using me as the main character. Instead of solving the problem, it made it even worse. It created a chain reaction from his wife, the most beautiful member of our family when she called my client, and even my in-laws.
Going with the saying that the truth will set you free, I think it did in a way for me. But for the problem, it didn't.
I just woke up this morning mad as hell again having to follow up with those who are supposed to be doing the task of cleaning up this mess.
I am caught in between, I am treated unfairly, I am not getting any support from the ones who are close to me.
I echo my father's words over the weekend, that "whatever has been said and done is over. Past is past and we should be helping each other solve this once and for all". Very well said, if only the concerned people can hear.
They promised me, but did not deliver.
Who is on my side? No one.
Meantime the best way to escape is to run away from the problem. Literally run. I did that this morning and tonight, I might just do it again.
Just to be able to sleep well.
I hope they read this. I am innocent but treated as if I did wrong.
Where is justice in this life?
What happened to honesty?
To family?
I just keep telling myself that this will be over soon and I will be able to rest.
I no longer have faith, and I am condemed by those who are supposed to support me.
I don't care, I'll just keep trying everyday for as long as I can....